OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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