There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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