i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
