She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
