so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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