Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
