WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
