i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Everclear isn't food dammit
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
