Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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