Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I wish you could order shots online.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
