dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
