I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
