There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
