I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
