I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
