hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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