We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
