First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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