I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
