She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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