in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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