would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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