yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
