Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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