i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
