Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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