My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
