she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
