like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
