yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
