I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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