Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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