I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
