Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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