Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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