We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
