Please, let me fuck your mom
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
