okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
