Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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