: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I could fuck to npr.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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