so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
