hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
