Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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