She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
