I wish I could punch you in the face.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
