Got a toothbrush?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
