I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
