I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
never play flip cup with pint glasses
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
