Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
