I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
