It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
